No Greeks Please, We’re British – Episode Eight of ‘A Kilo of String’ Podcast Series

What’s Cameron got against Greek people? If ‘No’ is the answer, what was the question? Who shall not pass? What’s Holst got to do with it? How many quarks are there in a Higgs boson?

Listen to the podcast to find the answers to these and many other important questions about life in Greece.

Click the play button or download the MP3 (13 mins 16 secs – 6.4 Mb)

Click here to listen to previous episodes of ‘A Kilo of String’

6 thoughts on “No Greeks Please, We’re British – Episode Eight of ‘A Kilo of String’ Podcast Series

  1. Dear Mr Johnson,
    Your podcast was drawn to my attention by my son, Thomas, who has taken it upon himself, since those “I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clue” people started poking fun at us Trellises, to trawl the internet looking for other disparaging aspersions being cast upon our good name. Having listened to the offending podcast, I should like to ask you to withdraw this outrageous smear and make a public apology for implying that we Trellises are the kind of people who habitually write in to complain about published material, whether written, visual or auditory, which offends middle England. My son and I, especially since his dear father, Trevor, passed away, have found it difficult to cope with the constant jeering and mockery which greets us whenever we have to tell people our name. This happened to us most recently in our local post-office, when the leftie-looking old hippie (pony tail, earrings etc.) behind the counter started sniggering when we told him our name. Now YOU are contributing to this widespread oppression and victimisation of the Trellises with your cruel podcasts, and, what is worse, you are also importing the slur into Greece, with the result that our poor Greek cousins who happen to be called “Kaphasoto” are now being tarred with the same brush. If this continues, we Trellises will become a world-wide laughing-stock. I demand that you desist from this abusive practice and this bullying of the oppressed. I await your apology.
    Yours sincerely,
    Tina Trellis (Mrs.)


    • Dear Mrs Trellis,

      I’m sorry to hear that you were offended by my mention of your Greek cousin, Mrs Kaphasoto, in my latest podcast. I assure you it was never my intention to mock the good name of the Kaphasoto’s or indeed the Trellis’s.

      Since you are clearly sensitive to the perceived ‘disparaging aspersions cast upon [y]our good name’ – not just by myself but by many others apparently – I wonder if I might offer a suggestion which could easily rectify this situation. Have you ever considered changing your name to, for example, Lattice, Grid or Interwovenstripsofwood? If you prefer to retain the horticultural essence of your name, how about Arbour, Pergola or even Gazebo?

      Hope this helps.

      Best wishes,

      Rob Johnson (KFC and bar)


  2. Aw Rob – no KoS until September? But I look forward to your weekly podcast.every two or three weeks. Enjoyed the metaphor-fest – and I got the Trellis reference before you translated it!

    (signed) A Geek bearing gifs – especially the one of Jeremy Hunt nearly braining a passer-by with a handbell. Olympics? You know who I blame.


    • Dear Geek-bearing-gifs,

      A bit of deferred gratification now and again is (or should that be ‘will be’?) good for the soul, I believe. In any case, the time between now and my next podcast will fly by, what with all these Olympics to watch on the tellybox. I won’t write any more about this major supporting event (MSE) though as it’s apparently illegal to use any words relating to the MSE to protect the multinational sponsors’ interests. I could probably wind up in prison just for saying ‘Olympics’ just now… Oh damn, that’s twice now.



  3. Hello Rob,

    Excellent podcast! A couple parts made me laugh out loud! — “The entire European Union cannot come to the phone right now??”—LOL, LOL, LOL! Very funny dialogue.


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