‘Cremains’ – Reviews

Below are some of the comments I’ve received so far from critics, other authors and readers about Cremains:


‘A hilarious comedy that keeps you on the edge of your seat… This is an ‘action all the way’ story, with some weird characters that you can’t help but like. The plot is steady and there are loads of twists and turns as the story hurtles towards an explosive ending. It is unpredictable and you will laugh your way through every page if you get and appreciate black humor. Fabulously funny story with cool, really well-developed characters… Great story, and if you want something totally different, pick up this book – you won’t regret it.’ – Anne-Marie Reynolds (Readers’ Favorite review site)

‘I wasn’t sure if our protagonist, Max, was going to survive the story or not. (I’m not going to tell you either.)… It definitely kept me guessing, but also laughing. Both good results.’ – Big Al (Big Al’s Books & Pals review site)

‘I am a fan of Rob Johnson’s writing, and once again, he did not disappoint. In Cremains, he has concocted a unique and witty storyline complete with a cast of quirky characters that keep the reader engaged from page one to “The End.” And bravo for the terrific cover art. An easy 5 stars.’ – Pamela Allegretto (Author of Bridge of Sighs and Dreams)

‘Thoroughly enjoyable. I really like Rob Johnson’s work. I’ve read all his previous novels, starting with Lifting The Lid and enjoyed each one. Thankfully, Cremains is no different. His style is deceptively languid and the humour sharp. Cremains is hugely enjoyable and a lot of fun to read. I also recommend A Kilo Of String.’ – Keith Nixon (Author of the Solomon Gray thriller series)

‘This book hits all the tropes I expected. It’s a mix of black humour, intrigue, suspense and constant action. There is some violence but it’s cartoon violence (think Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels). It’s a book that will put you inside an amusing bubble for a while and keep you guessing.’ – John Martin on Goodreads (Author of the Windy Mountain series)

‘With a vast array of health problems, the poor elderly must add one more: beware of falling baby grand pianos. When a grandmother is crushed beneath one on the pavement near him, Max Dempsey’s world goes a little crazy… And so starts this wild caper involving botched bank jobs, illicit drugs, an expensive, unfaithful wife, psychotic Greek gangsters and the cremated ashes of the granny killed by the keyboard… Rob Johnson delivers another top-notch humorous crime caper with plenty of excitement, wacky characters and plot twists. It was a joy to read with plenty of laugh out loud moments. Highly recommended!’ – Lance Carney (Author of the Daniel O’Dwyer Oak Island series)


‘Another rollicking ride from this master of the genre! I have enjoyed all Rob’s books and waited impatiently for this latest tale…was it worth the wait? You bet! The hilarious plot, side plots, amazing characterisations and the sheer imagination of the parallel story lines, culminating in a splendid denouement are all trademarks of Rob’s books… Thanks Rob…brilliant as ever!’ – corsario

‘I’ve read a few of Rob’s books and love his humor. This is a funny and thrilling adventure involving human ashes, cocaine, Greek thugs and a disgraced bank manager… This is an entertaining and amusing read and I definitely recommend it.’ – fabulouschrissie

‘Hilarious! Unpredictable! With the author’s dark and twisted sense of humor, he spins a tale that kept me laughing and giggling all the way through this funny funny book. I’ve read all of Rob Johnson’s other books and look forward to more.’ – lpland

‘Johnson hits the ‘dead centre’ of black comedy. Another ghoulish mix of outright farce and grotesque villains (and of course a camper van) from Rob Johnson who sets a galloping pace in this caper involving lost cocaine, undertakers, a gang of inept bank robbers and the hilarious gangster Nick the ‘frickin’ Greek. It keeps you guessing to the end even if you think you’ve figured it out.’ – Anthony Sawdrie

‘Rob Johnson did it once again! He wrote a fantastic book, full with great black humour…
I really enjoyed the characters and the plot. I read it during my holidays and was a real pleasure! Looking forward to his next book when it is published. A must read!’ – Yannis

‘First book I have ever read by this author. I cannot wait to read more. This was one of the funniest books I ever read. I had to fight hard to keep myself from bursting out laughing. My wife was sleeping next to me and I was SO worried I was going to wake her up.

How anyone can make a tale about death and drugs and gangsters and adultery, kidnapping SO danged hilarious…it beggars belief. But here it is. Piano falls on old lady. Cue the laugh track. How DOES he do it? I can picture Rob in his writing room, putting this together and busting his guts in laughter. WELL DONE, Mate!

I readily admit that I am a sucker for British humour, and this is loaded with it. But I objectively think there is more to it than that. RJ seems just to be a naturally gifted story-teller. I will need to sample more of his work to be sure. But if his other books are anything like this, I have found a new favorite author.’ – James Frederick (on Goodreads)

‘Most amusing. This is the third book by Rob Johnson that I have read, and have thoroughly enjoyed them all. They are laugh out loud funny, and only a man with a wonderful sense of humor and adventure could possibly dream up the crazy adventures that his characters get into. More of the same please.’ – Frankie

‘I fell in love with “Lifting the Lid” and found this novel just as humorous. Rob Johnson has a creative way of English laugh out loud humor. Worthy read if you like a off the cuff storytelling. I like the last two lines in the novel . . . what a wrap up.’ – DR. Slater

‘It’s proper good! I read this in 2 sittings… I loved the twists and turns and could tell this was the author’s book when 3 pages in as his wit and dry humour shone through. Buy this book and read it!’ – Rick Lawrence

‘Fun light crime drama – comedy. Comedy / Drama set in light crime predicament. Script keeps interest moving quickly.’ – Mike

‘Fun romp. The story is an amusing journey of a day in the life of a character most can relate to at one point in our lives.’ – Kimi

‘Light hearted comedy of errors. Excellent light read. Light hearted funny similar style to Tom Sharpe’s Wilt.’ – Amazon Customer

‘Crazy read. After I got going on this story I got a kick out of all the shenanigans. Made me laugh a lot.’ – Kindle Customer

‘From a cracking good first sentence, Cremains carries on to tick every box you’d expect from a “comedy crime caper”: There’s the constant action, the snarking black humor, the almost cartoonish casual violence and whiplash plot twists, all present and accounting well for themselves… It’s a short, amusing read that takes us away from life as we know it and into a pleasant, if somewhat dark and grubby little fantasy world where only the really bad guys are punished and the “sort of good guys” do prosper.’ – Rebecca (on Goodreads)

‘Things just keep rolling along on a rollicking good ride that has so much to it that you think there can’t be anything left to happen. Never a dull moment & fun all the way (for the reader that is.) Only the British can do black comedy well (IMO) & this is top notch. Well done Rob.’ – Corinne

‘Always a good read. Author never fails to give a good laugh and excitement in his stories. Enjoyed it from start to finish. Looking forward to reading more from Rob Johnson.’ – Kindle Customer

‘Loved it! A genuinely fun read, with plenty of plot twists to keep the reader hooked. Recommended.’ – Phil L

‘Rollicking good fun! Cremains will have you laughing from page 1. This cast of characters gives everyone a proper giggle or two thru out the whole book. Rob Johnson will become one of your favorite authors.’ – A.D.Adams, Jr

‘Funny as hell. Finally someone who knows how to tell a story! Enjoyed all the characters as well as their crazy escapades. An entertaining read.’ – Rick Hughes

‘Another comic gem from the pen of Rob Johnson.’ – DWH

‘A great read. Funny. Rare to find three dimensional characters who you feel you know so well and rooting for.’ – Amazon Customer

‘I laughed the whole time. Funny, twisty story. Well worth reading. Can’t wait to read Rob Johnson’s other books asap.’ – Robin

‘Very funny and well written book. Did not know what to expect but thoroughly enjoyed it.’ – Edward Mason

‘Great book to cheer you up and give you a laugh. We all need cheering up just now, and this’ll do it. Absurd situations involving drugs & ashes. If you’re feeling low and need a laugh give it a go. Well recommended.’ – David Broadbent

‘This is a truly well written and quite funny book – I laughed out loud several times. Will look for other books by this author!’ – Angela Beske (on Goodreads)

‘Great lighthearted read. A very funny book. I laughed so much I practically collapsed. A truly uplifting read. Ensure you have an inhaler handy before you start reading.’ – PGD

‘I just finished the book CREMAINS and it was such a funny, entertaining book. I should have started it and gone to sleep but I started laughing and couldn’t put it down so I’m still awake. Thank goodness I’m retired!! It’s hard to find books this good so I’m thrilled to start my journey through more of your books. You are such a wonderful writer; thank goodness I’ve found you!!’ – Lyndia S. Gruntorad (Comment on Lifting the Lid web page)

‘Wonderful This author’s sense of humour and the ability to tell a story is first class. Will read all his future novels. First class highly recommend.’ – Amazon Customer

‘Wanna laugh? I discovered that laughter helped relieve the stress of pandemic isolation. Now I’m addicted. I also discovered that there are some really weird guys writing books in the UK. Pick up a Rob Johnson book and get ready to chuckle, snicker and guffaw.’ – Ann

‘Loads of fun. With twists and turns to the very end, this one kept surprising me in the best ways. Highly recommended for lovers of hijinks!’ – Kindle Customer

Click here for details and where to buy Cremains.

Click here to read the opening chapters.

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