Category Archives: Writing

I finally typed THE END

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After many months of plotting, rewriting, deleting perfectly good paragraphs for no obvious reason, and consuming far too much coffee, I’ve finally typed THE END on the first draft of my latest novel!

It’s the fourth book in my Lifting the Lid comedy thriller series, and as usual, Trevor and Sandra find themselves mixed up in all kinds of trouble they could really do without. There are also a few of the characters from the previous books making a not necessarily welcome return.

However, there’s still plenty of work ahead to make the book ready for public consumption, so it won’t be available for a little while yet, but I’ll keep you posted.

And as a quick reminder, the first book in my ‘Cremains’ comedy crime caper series is still only 99p in the UK, but only until the end of July.

‘A Kilo of String’ only 99p in the UK and 99c in the US for a few days only

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“Fabulously funny – a real must for lovers of all things Greek.”

The Kindle edition of A Kilo of String is currently on offer at 99p in the UK and 99c in the US but for a few days only.

After living in Greece for many years, author and reluctant olive farmer Rob Johnson has got used to most of the things that he and his wife Penny found so bizarre at the beginning. Most, but not all.

This book answers many of the fundamental questions about life in Greece, such as:

How do you avoid ordering a double tomato for your pine marten when booking a hotel room?

'A Kilo of String' 99p in the UK and 99c in the US for a few days only.

Also available as an audiobook.

Click here to view/buy ‘A Kilo of String’ on Amazon

‘Cremains’ only 99p in the UK until the end of July 2026

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Cremains 99p in UK until end of July

‘Cremains’ – Book 1 in my comedy crime caper series – is on a Kindle Monthly Deal in the UK for just 99p until the end of July.

It’s also free everywhere on Kindle Unlimited, and the same goes for all my books.

When petty crook Max Dempsey finds himself deep in debt to a dodgy undertaker, he agrees to do a “little job” to pay it off, but it’s a job that sets him on course for a deadly encounter with a family of psychopathic gangsters.

Click here to view or buy on Amazon

Limited time offer on all three books in the “Cremains” comedy caper series

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For a very limited time, the set of all three ebooks in the ‘Cremains’ comedy caper series is only 99p in the UK and 99c in the USA. 33p/33c for each book is such a bargain, I might even buy it myself. 😄

Click here to buy the whole ‘Cremains’ series

‘Cremains’ comedy caper series – Books 1-3 now available as a box set

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The first three books in the ”Cremains” comedy caper series are now available as a box set of e-books. No fancy cover as in this image unfortunately, but buying all three books together is a fair bit cheaper than buying them all separately.

The price of the box set right now means you’ll be getting all three e-books (about 900 pages) for the price of two. This may not always be the case, although it’s definitely true at the moment.

Click here to check out the box set on Amazon

“Grave Expectations” – Out now!

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Book 3 in the Cremains comedy caper series is available now as an e-book and paperback from Amazon.

Following on from The Undertaking (the second book in the Cremains comedy caper series), Grave Expectations picks up the story of Max, Alan and Scratch and their struggling undertaker business.

Once again on the brink of financial disaster, along comes a woman who Max met very briefly in Cremains — a dominatrix with a supposedly foolproof plan to rob a bank.

What they hadn’t bargained for, though, was that the bank job was just the beginning of a catastrophic series of events including blackmail, betrayal, murder and an unwelcome brush with organised crime.

Click here to view/buy “Grave Expectations”

Click here for more details

Click here to read the opening chapters

‘Grave Expectations’ – New novel available to pre-order now

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‘Grave Expectations’ is the third book in the ‘Cremains’ comedy caper series. Available to pre-order now and published on Friday 17th January

Following on from The Undertaking (the second book in the Cremains comedy caper series), Grave Expectations picks up the story of Max, Alan and Scratch and their struggling undertaker business.

Once again on the brink of financial disaster, along comes a woman who Max met very briefly in Cremains — a dominatrix with a supposedly foolproof plan to rob a bank.

What they hadn’t bargained for, though, was that the bank job was just the beginning of a catastrophic series of events including blackmail, betrayal, murder and an unwelcome brush with organised crime.

The ebook is available to pre-order now, and it will be delivered to whatever reading device you use on Friday 17th January. You’d also be paying at least half the price (99p/99c) that you’d pay after publication day.

Click here to pre-order ‘Grave Expectations’

Click here for more details

Click here to read the opening chapters

‘Cremains’ only 99p in the UK until the end of July

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‘Cremains’ – Book 1 in my comedy crime caper series – is on a Kindle Monthly Deal for just 99p until the end of July.

It’s also free everywhere on Kindle Unlimited, and the same goes for all my books.

Click here to view or buy on Amazon

Here are a few of the comments from readers so far:

“Another rollicking ride from this master of the genre!”

“Kept me laughing and giggling all the way through this funny funny book.”

“Johnson hits the ‘dead centre’ of black comedy.”

“This was one of the funniest books I ever read.”

“I have found a new favorite author.”

“Loved it! A genuinely fun read, with plenty of plot twists to keep the reader hooked.”

“Finally someone who knows how to tell a story!”

“A hilarious comedy that keeps you on the edge of your seat.”

“This is one heck of a crime caper with hilarious twists and turns galore.”

And here’s a particular favourite of mine:

“If there were more violence in the story I would have bet Guy Ritchie would have turned it into a movie.”

So, if you happen to read this, Mr Ritchie, I wouldn’t mind if you wanted to add some violent bits. 🙂

Limited time offer on all three books in the ‘Lifting the Lid’ series

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Special offer on 'Lifting the Lid' box set

For a very limited time, the set of all three ebooks in the ‘Lifting the Lid’ series is only 99p in the UK and 99c in the USA. 33p/33c for each book is such a bargain, I might even buy it myself. 😄

Buy the whole ‘Lifting the Lid’ series here

‘Lifting the Lid’ – 10th Anniversary!

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Lifting the Lid 10th anniversary

That’s right, it’s now ten years since I published my first novel, the comedy thriller ‘Lifting the Lid’, and I’ve been amazed how well it’s done. I never believed it would sell more than a handful of copies, but so far it’s sold over 30,000. That’s almost 15 million pages read, which I find quite astonishing.

Lifting the Lid 2,000 ratings

It also recently hit 2,000 global ratings with the vast majority (73%) being 4 or 5 stars. OK, you can’t please everyone, of course, but here are a few of my favourite reviews (followed by some of my less favourite ones):

I will simply say that if your life needs cheering-up, buy this.

Funny, witty and clever. A good escape from the monotony of real life!

Loved it. You’ve gained another fan.

It’s brilliant! A fast paced frenzy where there isn’t a moment to breathe.

You’ll laugh so hard, you’ll have to make a couple trips to the restroom.

I chuckled my way through every chapter of this highly enjoyable book.

True comedy crime thriller of the highest standard.

A refreshing change of pace from the murder mysteries I usually read.

This book is an absolute joy to read, brimming with amusement and an engaging plot.

Some readers have been less than impressed, however, and in the interests of balance, here are some of the most damning comments:

Lift lid: Insert book.

Rubbish – needs flushed away.

A waste of my life and that of the author.

Badly written tosh.

As I said above, you can’t please everyone, but many thanks to everyone who’s read and enjoyed ‘Lifting the Lid’ over the years. I really appreciate your support.

Click here for more ‘Lifting the Lid’ reviews

Click here for ‘Lifting the Lid’ and all my other books on Amazon

‘Cremains’ on TV? Final update

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'Cremains' on TV - not to be

Just to let people know that I’ve decided to pull out of the next stage in the BooksOffice process, so unfortunately ‘Cremains’ probably won’t be on the TV any time soon. I’m afraid I can’t go into the reasons why I came to this decision, but I’m particularly sorry to everyone who supported me by taking the trouble to vote.

However, if you happen to know any film or TV producers…

‘Cremains’ on TV? Latest update

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I’m delighted to say that Cremains has made it into the final Top 20 of the BooksOffice search for crime novels to adapt into TV series. This was the result of a public vote, so many thanks to everyone who voted for me.

Cremains Top 20 in final BooksOffice vote

It’s early days yet, and there are a number of other stages to go through, so it’s by no means a done deal that Cremains will make it onto the TV screens. Here’s hoping though, and many thanks again for your support.

‘Cremains’ on TV? Voting ends today (15th June)!

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Many thanks to everyone who’s voted so far at https://booksoffice.com to have my comedy crime caper Cremains adapted as a TV series.

Cremains is currently in the top 20 of the public vote, but I’ve no idea if it’s near the top or the bottom of the 20, so if you haven’t voted already, I’d be really grateful if you’d take the plunge.

I’d hate to lose your vote, so if you have (or have had) any problems with the voting process, please do let me know through my Contact page or comment below as I can easily help you out.

‘Cremains’ on TV?

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I have some news that I’m rather excited about, which is that I’ve been invited by BooksOffice to submit my novel “Cremains” for possible adaptation as a movie or TV series.

Vote for "Cremains" to be adapted into a movie or TV series.

Although BooksOffice has a judging panel of professionals, they’re also relying on a public vote to help them to decide which book(s) to select, so I’d be really grateful for your support.

It’s a fairly simple process to cast your votes, and after you register as a “Reader/Viewer” at https://booksoffice.com/ :

  1. CLICK ON THE ‘PROJECTS’ OR ‘VOTING’ TAB IN THE TOP MENU BAR
  2. SCROLL DOWN THROUGH THE BOOKS TILL YOU FIND “CREMAINS”
  3. CLICK ON THE ‘VOTE’ BUTTON UNDERNEATH “CREMAINS”
  4. CLICK ON THE TICKET ICON AND ENTER THE NUMBER OF TICKETS YOU WANT TO GIVE. YOU CAN GIVE ME ALL 5 OF YOUR VOTES IF YOU SO WISH!

Each vote is eligible to win a Kindle or £100 in Amazon vouchers, and if you’re interested, there are more details here on how to like the book itself, get more voting tickets, etc: http://booksoffice.com/voting-guidelines-for-readers/

Hopefully, all of this will only take a few minutes, and I’d be eternally grateful for your help in getting “Cremains” onto the big or small screen – or any size screen really.

Readers’ Favorite 5-Star Review for ‘Quest for the Holey Snail’

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'Quest for the Holey Snail' cover

“Quest for The Holey Snail by Rob Johnson is a brilliant fantasy glittering with hilarious humor.” – Olga Markova for Readers’ Favorite


I’m not sure I’ve ever had quite such a glowing review of any of my books, and it’s from one of the biggest book review sites on the Internet.

Here’s some more:

“Quest for The Holey Snail was my first meet-and-greet with Rob Johnson’s novels. I found this one remarkable for its generously abundant next-to-none humor. I loved it at least as much as Robert Rankin’s The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse. Johnson’s unique humor kept me initially chuckling until it got me laughing to tears at the hilarious characters and their adventures. And humor apart, the tale has everything a fan of fantasy may wish for; a breathtaking supernatural adventure, page-turning suspense, and an intricate plot. Indeed, it left me feeling like I had never lived before reading it!”

Click here if you’d like to read the review in full.

Click here to view/buy “Quest for the Holey Snail”

New novel out now – ‘The Undertaking’

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Book 2 in the Cremains comedy caper series is available now as an e-book and paperback from Amazon.

“If business didn’t pick up soon, we’d be staring into the abyss of what economists might call ‘totally screwed’.”

But as chance would have it, Max Dempsey and Partners: Funeral Directors are about to be saved from financial ruin by a mysterious stranger with a wad of cash. It was the first time they’d been asked to collect a body from France, but what could possibly go wrong?

For a start, the body in question isn’t at all what they’d been expecting, and all of a sudden Max and his partners find themselves catapulted into a world of espionage, blackmail, kidnapping, double-dealing and Russian assassins.

The name’s Dempsey. Max Dempsey. Shaken, stirred and totally freaked out.

Click here to view/buy ‘The Undertaking’

Click here to read the opening chapter

‘The Undertaking’ – New novel available to pre-order now

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‘The Undertaking’ is the second book in the ‘Cremains’ comedy caper series. Available to pre-order now and published on Thursday 23rd March.

Following on from the first book in the Cremains comedy caper series, which oddly enough was called Cremains, the sequel is finally ready for publication.

The Undertaking picks up the story of Max, Alan and Scratch not long after they’ve taken over the running of Danny Bishop’s funeral parlour.

But the business is heading for financial disaster until Max and co are offered a substantial amount of money to collect a body from France. It sounded a simple enough undertaking, so what could possibly go wrong?

To find out, you can pre-order the ebook now, it will be delivered to whatever reading device you use on Thursday 23rd March. You’d also be paying at least half the price (99p/99c) that you’d pay after publication day.

Click here to pre-order ‘The Undertaking’

Click here for more details

Click here to read the opening chapter

‘Dishing the Dirt’ – 99p in the UK today only (Saturday 9th July)

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‘Dishing the Dirt’ (Book 3 in the ‘Lifting the Lid’ comedy thriller series) has been selected for an Amazon Kindle Daily Deal. So, it will be 99p in the UK but only for one day – Saturday 9th July.

Click here to view/buy

Sorry to everyone else in the world but this deal is only avaiable on Amazon UK.

Lifting the Lid series – Books 1-3 now available as a box set

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The first three books in the ‘Lifting the Lid’ series are now available as a box set of e-books. No fancy cover as in this image unfortunately, but buying all three books together is a fair bit cheaper than buying them all separately.

The price of the box set right now means you’ll be getting all three e-books (900+ pages) for the price of two. This may not always be the case, although it’s definitely true at the moment.

Click here to check out the box set on Amazon

‘Dishing the Dirt’ – Some reviews so far

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It’s now almost three months since ‘Dishing the Dirt’ was published, and I’m pleased to say it’s been pretty well received so far. Many thanks to everyone who’s read the book and posted a review on Amazon, Goodreads, etc. Here are some of my favourites so far:

DTD break glass mockup

Another great read. The pages turn themselves and the laughs leap out at you.

Enjoyable, funny and brilliant.

This has been a tough year for everyone, but even if you can’t go to your favourite holiday destination you can at least escape into the wonderful world that this author creates for you.

A superb follow up in this series.

Some excellent twists and turns right up until the very end.

During lockdown, I re-read Rob’s entire back-catalogue, and I laughed over again at the shenanigans and mishaps of the two hapless detectives.

Do yourself a favour and bring some fun into your life…you will not regret it.

Never fails to bring a smile, even on multiple readings.

Flipping brilliant.

Can’t wait to read more of Rob’s books.

It gets better and better.

The storyline whisks you along in a fantastic story.

Click here to read more reviews

Click here for more details of Dishing the Dirt

Click here to buy Dishing the Dirt

‘Dishing the Dirt’ – New novel out now

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“Dishing the Dirt” (Book 3 in the “Lifting the Lid” series) is now available as an e-book and paperback from Amazon.

THE KINDLE EDITION IS AT A SPECIAL LOW PRICE FOR A FEW MORE DAYS:

99p in the UK
$1.99 in the US
€0.99 in France, Italy, Spain, Germany and the Netherlands
CAN $1.99 in Canada
AUS $1.99 in Australia

Click here for more details

Click here to read the opening chapters

Click here to buy Dishing the Dirt

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‘Dishing the Dirt’ – New novel coming soon

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‘Dishing the Dirt’ is the third book in the ‘Lifting the Lid’ series. Available for pre-order from Sunday 18th April

It’s been quite a while since ‘Heads You Lose’, the second book in the ‘Lifting the Lid’ series, so at long last Book 3 is now ready for publication. Trevor and Sandra are still in Greece, running Marcus Ingleby’s taverna, but also doing a bit of detective work on the side.

Perhaps not surprisingly, this leads them into all kinds of trouble, including blackmail, kidnapping and murder, which teaches them the valuable lesson that careless talk costs lives – and with zero chance of a refund.

Click here for more details.

Click here to read the opening chapters.

Limited time discounts on three Kindle books

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I hope you and yours are keeping safe and well in these difficult times, whether you’re one of those who are working so hard to keep the rest of us safe and well or you’re on a lockdown at home. Whichever might be the case, I thought you might be interested to know that three of my books are currently on a Kindle Deal.

The Kindle editions of Lifting the Lid, Cremains and A Kilo of String have all been reduced to 99p in the UK and 99c in some other European countries.

Click here or on the image above for more details.

All of my e-books only 99p/99c

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To commemorate the 50th anniversary of the 1969 moon landing, I’ve put all of my books on an Amazon Countdown Deal at 99p in the UK and 99c in the US. (Yes, I know, that’s a very tenuous link, but it’s quite hot here, and my brain’s gone a bit soggy.) They’ll all be back up to normal price in the next couple of days, though, so now’s the time to pick up a bargain.

All e-books 99p/99c for a few days onlyIf you haven’t read my latest novel yet, it’s a comedy crime caper called Cremains, and I’m over the moon (!) that it’s already picked up some great reviews, including:

“Another rollicking ride from this master of the genre!”
“Hilarious! Unpredictable!”
“Kept me laughing and giggling all the way through this funny funny book.”
“Johnson hits the ‘dead centre’ of black comedy.”
“It keeps you guessing to the end even if you think you’ve figured it out.”

Click here or on the image above for all books

 

‘True Wit’ – New humour anthology out now

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True Wit: Stories by Humo(u)r Writers from Around the Globe is an anthology of new stories from seven authors (including me) plus an excerpt of a full-length work by each author.

In Benefit of Hindsight for Ghosts, a disoriented spirit gets more than he bargained for when he ends up haunting a jail against his will. Or dive into a bizarrely comic tale of mistaken identity in The Curious Case of a Murder Being Announced at Dosford Park [This one’s mine!]

In Iron Jimmy, a recently-fired FBI agent enrolls in a school for private investigators, but neglects to inform his wife. The Fish is Back! chronicles an adventure of Pinhead Paul, a pungent-yet-heroic dock worker who saves the day amidst a hurricane.

After reading Weighty Issues, you may never look at your doctor the same way again. Smart Phone will leave you wondering what would happen if artificial intelligence manifested a genuine attitude. And Pretender to the Throne explores alternate (or maybe just unreported) events following the death of Elvis Presley.

With contributions from award-winning and popular authors Mark Cain, Lance Carney, Bill Cokas, Rob Johnson, John Martin, John Parrot and Lisa Shiroff, this contemporary volume of lighthearted fiction will provide hours of memorable entertainment.

NB: Each story is followed by an excerpt of a full-length work by each author.

True Wit is available from Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble and Kobo for
0.99 USD, 0.99 GBP, 0.99 Euros, $1.99 AUD, CAD and NZD

Click here to buy from your favourite online retailer.

‘Cremains’ – New novel coming soon

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I thought it was about time I published a new novel, and here it is (nearly).

A bank manager turned bank robber, a dodgy undertaker, some psychopathic gangsters and a cremation urn or two. They’re all in my new comedy crime caper to be published very soon.

Click here for more details.

Click here to read the first three chapters.

Spotlight on Comedy Thriller Author Rob Johnson

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Interview with Jennifer S. Alderson

I’m always happy to talk about my writing, of course, so I was delighted when Jennifer S. Alderson invited me to do exactly that on her excellent website at http://jennifersalderson.com/2018/05/15/spotlight-on-comedy-thriller-author-rob-johnson/

In the interview, I answer such questions as:

Where do you do your best writing?

Why do you write the kinds of books you do?

What is the inspiration behind your latest novel?

What inspired you to be a writer?

Do you recognize yourself in any of your characters?

And even if you’re not in the least bit interested in my answers to these questions, there are a couple of rather nice photos on the interview page here.

‘Lifting the Lid’ review in San Francisco Review of Books

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Lifting The Lid Many thanks to the San Francisco Review of Books for an excellent review of Lifting the Lid.

Here are a couple of quotes:

“The twists and turns kept me on the edge of my seat, laughing all the time. The story is intriguing, but the best part is just enjoying the frolic from one adventure to the next.”

“Lovers of comedic thrillers are sure to enjoy Lifting the Lid.”

And here’s a link to the review in full.

Readers’ Favorite 5-Star Review for ‘A Kilo of String’

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Readers' Favorite 5-star review badgeDelighted to report that I’ve just received a great 5-star review from Readers’ Favorite, which is one of the biggest book review sites on the Internet. And look, I even get a badge to go with it!

Here’s an extract:

“Welcome to Greece! A Kilo of String by Rob Johnson takes readers on an entertaining trip to Greece with the author and his wife, Penny, and their experiences while living there. The author’s entertaining stories, interesting anecdotes, and humor make this book an excellent read for everyone.”

And here’s a link to the review in full.