‘Cremains’ – A new comedy crime caper out now!

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Cremains is now available as an e-book and paperback from Amazon.

Cremains cover composite

Cover artwork by Penny Philcox from an original design by Patrick Woodgate © 2019

“It’s not every day that you see some old granny crushed to death under a baby grand piano, and I’m truly grateful for that. I really am. But the even bigger shock was that this woman – a complete stranger – would be coming back to haunt me in the days to come. Not in a spooky, walking-through-walls kind of way but something a lot more real and far more dangerous.”

When sacked bank manager turned bank robber Max Dempsey (aka Simon Golightly) finds himself deep in debt to dodgy undertaker Danny Bishop, he’s prepared to do almost anything to pay it off and keep all of his fingers.

But he’s likely to lose a lot more than his fingers when he agrees to do a “little job” for Danny and unintentionally crosses psychopathic Greek gangster, Nikos Spiropoulos.

Meanwhile, Bernard Pemberton and his granddaughter Tess are on a road trip to scatter their beloved Dottie’s ashes on a Scottish hilltop, but is it really her ashes in the cremation urn or something else altogether?

Cremains is a crime caper that twists and turns its way towards a conclusion that even Max himself couldn’t have predicted.

Click here to read the opening chapters.

Click here to buy Cremains.

Podcasts

“We are all Greeks. Our laws, our literature, our religion, our arts have their root in Greece”
Percy Bysshe Shelley

If you want to know what it’s really like in Greece, have a listen to:A Kilo of String – a series of short podcasts about my – often bizarre – experiences as a Brit living in Greece with the occasional digression into total irrelevances.

I’ve also started another series of podcasts called One Thing and Another, episodes of which aren’t necessarily about Greece (although the first one is).

Follow Rob Johnson on Google+

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‘Cremains’ – New novel coming soon

I thought it was about time I published a new novel, and here it is (nearly).

A bank manager turned bank robber, a dodgy undertaker, some psychopathic gangsters and a cremation urn or two. They’re all in my new comedy crime caper to be published very soon.

Click here for more details.

Click here to read the first three chapters.

Out Now! ‘A Kilo of String’ Audiobook

“Fabulously funny – a real must for lovers of all things Greek.”

A Kilo of String is now available in e-book, paperback and audiobook formats from Amazon.

'A Kilo of String' cover

Cover design by Penny Philcox © 2017

After living in Greece for thirteen years, writer and reluctant olive farmer Rob Johnson has got used to most of the things that he and his partner Penny found so bizarre at the beginning. Most, but not all.

A Kilo of String is the story-so-far of this not-particularly-plucky couple’s often bewildering experiences among the descendants of Sophocles, Plato and Nana Mouskouri with occasional digressions into total irrelevances.

This is a book which is almost guaranteed not to change your life, but what it will do is answer many of the fundamental questions about life in Greece, such as:

How do you avoid ordering a double tomato for your pine marten when booking a hotel room?

Should olive harvesting be registered with the Dangerous Sports Association?

Why are chicken livers useful (other than to the chickens themselves)?

Why is it a good idea to wear your underwear inside-out?

Why is playing the bassoon bad for your health?

Oh yes, and there are some serious bits too about how life in Greece has changed since the beginning of the economic crisis.

A Kilo of String is loosely based on Rob Johnson’s podcast series of the same name, which is free to listen to and download. (See below.)

Click here to read the opening chapters.

Click here to read reviews.

Click here to buy.

 

Unjust Causes and Non-Impediments – Episode Sixteen of ‘A Kilo of String’ Podcast Series

Who’s wrong to be right? What was the Great Envelope Controversy? Was this a marriage made in Milton Keynes? What’s this in my yoghourt? Is this the end?

Listen to the podcast to find the answers to these and many other important questions about life in Greece. Listen to podcast…