‘Cremains’ – A new comedy crime caper out now!

Featured

Cremains is now available as an e-book and paperback from Amazon.

Cremains cover composite

Cover artwork by Penny Philcox from an original design by Patrick Woodgate © 2019

“It’s not every day that you see some old granny crushed to death under a baby grand piano, and I’m truly grateful for that. I really am. But the even bigger shock was that this woman – a complete stranger – would be coming back to haunt me in the days to come. Not in a spooky, walking-through-walls kind of way but something a lot more real and far more dangerous.”

When sacked bank manager turned bank robber Max Dempsey (aka Simon Golightly) finds himself deep in debt to dodgy undertaker Danny Bishop, he’s prepared to do almost anything to pay it off and keep all of his fingers.

But he’s likely to lose a lot more than his fingers when he agrees to do a “little job” for Danny and unintentionally crosses psychopathic Greek gangster, Nikos Spiropoulos.

Meanwhile, Bernard Pemberton and his granddaughter Tess are on a road trip to scatter their beloved Dottie’s ashes on a Scottish hilltop, but is it really her ashes in the cremation urn or something else altogether?

Cremains is a crime caper that twists and turns its way towards a conclusion that even Max himself couldn’t have predicted.

Click here to read the opening chapters.

Click here to buy Cremains.

Podcasts

“We are all Greeks. Our laws, our literature, our religion, our arts have their root in Greece”
Percy Bysshe Shelley

If you want to know what it’s really like in Greece, have a listen to:A Kilo of String – a series of short podcasts about my – often bizarre – experiences as a Brit living in Greece with the occasional digression into total irrelevances.

I’ve also started another series of podcasts called One Thing and Another, episodes of which aren’t necessarily about Greece (although the first one is).

Follow Rob Johnson on Google+

Limited time discounts on three Kindle books

I hope you and yours are keeping safe and well in these difficult times, whether you’re one of those who are working so hard to keep the rest of us safe and well or you’re on a lockdown at home. Whichever might be the case, I thought you might be interested to know that three of my books are currently on a Kindle Deal.

The Kindle editions of Lifting the Lid, Cremains and A Kilo of String have all been reduced to 99p in the UK and 99c in some other European countries.

Click here or on the image above for more details.

All of my e-books only 99p/99c

To commemorate the 50th anniversary of the 1969 moon landing, I’ve put all of my books on an Amazon Countdown Deal at 99p in the UK and 99c in the US. (Yes, I know, that’s a very tenuous link, but it’s quite hot here, and my brain’s gone a bit soggy.) They’ll all be back up to normal price in the next couple of days, though, so now’s the time to pick up a bargain.

All e-books 99p/99c for a few days onlyIf you haven’t read my latest novel yet, it’s a comedy crime caper called Cremains, and I’m over the moon (!) that it’s already picked up some great reviews, including:

“Another rollicking ride from this master of the genre!”
“Hilarious! Unpredictable!”
“Kept me laughing and giggling all the way through this funny funny book.”
“Johnson hits the ‘dead centre’ of black comedy.”
“It keeps you guessing to the end even if you think you’ve figured it out.”

Click here or on the image above for all books

 

‘True Wit’ – New humour anthology out now

True Wit: Stories by Humo(u)r Writers from Around the Globe is an anthology of new stories from seven authors (including me) plus an excerpt of a full-length work by each author.

In Benefit of Hindsight for Ghosts, a disoriented spirit gets more than he bargained for when he ends up haunting a jail against his will. Or dive into a bizarrely comic tale of mistaken identity in The Curious Case of a Murder Being Announced at Dosford Park [This one’s mine!]

In Iron Jimmy, a recently-fired FBI agent enrolls in a school for private investigators, but neglects to inform his wife. The Fish is Back! chronicles an adventure of Pinhead Paul, a pungent-yet-heroic dock worker who saves the day amidst a hurricane.

After reading Weighty Issues, you may never look at your doctor the same way again. Smart Phone will leave you wondering what would happen if artificial intelligence manifested a genuine attitude. And Pretender to the Throne explores alternate (or maybe just unreported) events following the death of Elvis Presley.

With contributions from award-winning and popular authors Mark Cain, Lance Carney, Bill Cokas, Rob Johnson, John Martin, John Parrot and Lisa Shiroff, this contemporary volume of lighthearted fiction will provide hours of memorable entertainment.

NB: Each story is followed by an excerpt of a full-length work by each author.

True Wit is available from Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble and Kobo for
0.99 USD, 0.99 GBP, 0.99 Euros, $1.99 AUD, CAD and NZD

Click here to buy from your favourite online retailer.

‘Cremains’ – New novel coming soon

I thought it was about time I published a new novel, and here it is (nearly).

A bank manager turned bank robber, a dodgy undertaker, some psychopathic gangsters and a cremation urn or two. They’re all in my new comedy crime caper to be published very soon.

Click here for more details.

Click here to read the first three chapters.

‘A Kilo of String’ Audiobook Available Now

akos audiobook promo compressed

It’s been a long time coming, but the audiobook of A Kilo of String is finally available from Audible, Amazon and iTunes.

I don’t set the price myself, and I have to say it’s not exactly cheap to buy. However, if you’re interested, you can get a FREE COPY if you sign up to Audible for a 30-day free trial.

Also, if you use one of the links below to sign up and you choose A Kilo of String as your first audiobook, I get a nice little bonus!

AMAZON.COM
AMAZON UK
AMAZON FRANCE
AMAZON GERMANY

And here’s a short sample from the audiobook:

Spotlight on Comedy Thriller Author Rob Johnson

Interview with Jennifer S. Alderson

I’m always happy to talk about my writing, of course, so I was delighted when Jennifer S. Alderson invited me to do exactly that on her excellent website at http://jennifersalderson.com/2018/05/15/spotlight-on-comedy-thriller-author-rob-johnson/

In the interview, I answer such questions as:

Where do you do your best writing?

Why do you write the kinds of books you do?

What is the inspiration behind your latest novel?

What inspired you to be a writer?

Do you recognize yourself in any of your characters?

And even if you’re not in the least bit interested in my answers to these questions, there are a couple of rather nice photos on the interview page here.

‘Lifting the Lid’ review in San Francisco Review of Books

Lifting The Lid Many thanks to the San Francisco Review of Books for an excellent review of Lifting the Lid.

Here are a couple of quotes:

“The twists and turns kept me on the edge of my seat, laughing all the time. The story is intriguing, but the best part is just enjoying the frolic from one adventure to the next.”

“Lovers of comedic thrillers are sure to enjoy Lifting the Lid.”

And here’s a link to the review in full.

The Audiobook of the Book of the Podcast – Episode 17 of ‘A Kilo of String’ Podcast Series

Podcast image for Yes, it’s back! Nearly four years since my last ‘A Kilo of String’ podcast episode, I’ve finally got round to recording a new one.

What have I been doing for the past three years and nine months? Audiobook? What audiobook? Who’s been banging on about Brexit? What barely fits and is flimsy? When is a preface not a preface?

Listen to this podcast episode to find the answers to these and many other important questions and hear a sneak preview of my forthcoming audiobook.

Listen to podcast…

Readers’ Favorite 5-Star Review for ‘A Kilo of String’

Readers' Favorite 5-star review badgeDelighted to report that I’ve just received a great 5-star review from Readers’ Favorite, which is one of the biggest book review sites on the Internet. And look, I even get a badge to go with it!

Here’s an extract:

“Welcome to Greece! A Kilo of String by Rob Johnson takes readers on an entertaining trip to Greece with the author and his wife, Penny, and their experiences while living there. The author’s entertaining stories, interesting anecdotes, and humor make this book an excellent read for everyone.”

And here’s a link to the review in full.

‘A Kilo of String’ – Some reviews so far

A Kilo of String

It has got to be the most hilarious book I have read to date!

Pearls of unadulterated enjoyment.

Brilliant!

I can’t put the book down.

The funniest book ever written about life in Greece!

Your books are a scream. Loved them.

The writing is excellent and really brings to life the lovely eccentricities of the Greek people.

If you want to read something that will make you cry from laughing I highly recommend this book!!!

Rob’s anecdotes are hilarious and ring so true.

Insightful commentary on the troubles Greece is suffering as a result of the austerity measures. All in all a really good read.

Simply hilarious.

An excellent insight to the ways and workings of Greece and the Greeks.

I hope Rob continues to write such fantastic books as this.

I chuckled all through it.

A fine snapshot of life in Greece.

All in all a cracking, good fun read.

Loved the book and love Rob’s sense of humour.

Made me almost choke on my coffee as I laughed out loud.

Captures Greeks beautifully.

Hilarious and informative.

Has me howling with laughter.

Your portrayal of both characters and incidents which both you and Penny came across were at times achingly funny.

Excellent book, very funny and true to Greek life.

There is a certain knack to storytelling and this latest novel is a prime example of how to convey reality to an audience with humour.

A great read!! I really enjoyed his spot-on insight into the Greek psyche.

Click here for more reviews of A Kilo of String

Click here for more details of A Kilo of String

Click here to read the opening chapters

My interview in Expat.com Magazine

Photo from Expat.com interview

Photo of the author hard at work

Ooh er, I’ve been interviewed by Expat.com Magazine about life in Greece to coincide with the publication of my new book, A Kilo of String.

“Rob Johnson is a self-described ‘reluctant olive farmer’ and an author in Greece. Originally from England, Rob has just published his new book, ‘A Kilo of String’, which gives fellow expats and anyone thinking of moving to Greece some insight into the oddities and unique aspects of living there. Rob tells Expat.com a bit about how he’s finding day to day life in Greece, olives and all.”

If you’d like to read the full interview (or just look at the pictures), you can find the article at Writing novels and farming olives: An English expat in Greece.

Living in Greece

Out Now! ‘A Kilo of String’ Audiobook

“Fabulously funny – a real must for lovers of all things Greek.”

A Kilo of String is now available in e-book, paperback and audiobook formats from Amazon.

'A Kilo of String' cover

Cover design by Penny Philcox © 2017

After living in Greece for thirteen years, writer and reluctant olive farmer Rob Johnson has got used to most of the things that he and his partner Penny found so bizarre at the beginning. Most, but not all.

A Kilo of String is the story-so-far of this not-particularly-plucky couple’s often bewildering experiences among the descendants of Sophocles, Plato and Nana Mouskouri with occasional digressions into total irrelevances.

This is a book which is almost guaranteed not to change your life, but what it will do is answer many of the fundamental questions about life in Greece, such as:

How do you avoid ordering a double tomato for your pine marten when booking a hotel room?

Should olive harvesting be registered with the Dangerous Sports Association?

Why are chicken livers useful (other than to the chickens themselves)?

Why is it a good idea to wear your underwear inside-out?

Why is playing the bassoon bad for your health?

Oh yes, and there are some serious bits too about how life in Greece has changed since the beginning of the economic crisis.

A Kilo of String is loosely based on Rob Johnson’s podcast series of the same name, which is free to listen to and download. (See below.)

Click here to read the opening chapters.

Click here to read reviews.

Click here to buy.

 

Awesome Indies Seal of Approval!

I’m delighted to say that all of my books have now been approved by Awesome Indies, which means that:

AIA Badge Gold for web

“Publishing industry professionals have evaluated these books against specific criteria for quality fiction.”

Lifting the Lid received the Awesome Indies Seal of Approval some time ago, but more recently, Heads You Lose and Quest for the Holey Snail have also been approved.

Click on the title of each book if you’d like to read the full reviews.

‘Lifting the Lid’ & ‘Heads You Lose’ price drop

Yes, bot'Lifting the Lid' and 'Heads You Lose' countdown dealh books in the Lifting the Lid comedy thriller series are currently only 99p (UK) and 99c (US) – but for a few days only.

Here are some recent reviews for Lifting the Lid

‘An easy read with a fun plot that keeps you guessing and chuckling in equal measure. Give it a go. You won’t regret it.’

‘It kept me chuckling along right to the end. A thoroughly gripping yarn.’

‘Loved it. Just about to read the sequel. You’ve gained another fan. Keep writing!!’

And for Heads You Lose

‘This book was so good I could not put it down. Very funny.’

‘Great sequel to Lifting the Lid. A fun adventure. Didn’t want it to end.’

‘A wonderful holiday read, with another well-planned plot. Can’t wait for the next one!’

 

Paperback edition of ‘Quest for the Holey Snail’ – Available now

Quest paperback PHOTO 400x400 for FB COMPRESSED

Quest for the Holey Snail is now available as a paperback as well as an e-book.

“Not just another book about serial-killing monks who travel through time and wear Union Jack flip-flops.”Unusual Footwear Monthly

Click here to read the opening chapters.

Click here to read the reviews so far.

‘Quest for the Holey Snail’ paperback edition – Coming soon

'Quest for the Holey Snail' paperback coverThe paperback edition of ‘Quest for the Holey Snail’ will be published very soon. Just waiting for the proof copy, and if all’s well, the “proper book” will be available in about ten days from now.

In the meantime, the ebook edition is available at viewBook.at/Quest

‘Quest for the Holey Snail’ – Available now!

My new novel, Quest for the Holey Snail, is now available as an e-book from Amazon. (Paperback edition to follow soon.)

'Quest for the Holey Snail' cover

Cover design by Penny Philcox © 2016

HALF PRICE FOR A LIMITED PERIOD ONLY (£0.99  $0.99  €0.99)

“Not just another book about serial-killing monks who travel through time and wear Union Jack flip-flops.” – Unusual Footwear Monthly

Click here for more information about the book.

Click here to read the opening chapters.

Click here to buy Quest for the Holey Snail ebook.

‘Quest for the Holey Snail’

Horace's advertWhen Horace Tweed places an advertisement in a national and moderately well respected periodical, the last thing he expects is to be commissioned to travel back through time in search of the long extinct Holey Snail.

Meanwhile, Detective Chief Inspector Harper Collins has her hands full trying to track down a secret order of monks whom she suspects of committing a series of murders – the same monks who are determined to thwart Horace in his…

 …’Quest for the Holey Snail’ – my new novel, coming soon(ish).

‘Heads You Lose’ – Out now in paperback!

'Heads You Lose' paperbackAs well as the e-book edition, Heads You Lose is now also available as a paperback from Amazon.

“A highly entertaining, well-constructed screwball comedy that is as enjoyable as it is well written.” – Keith Nixon for Big Al’s Books and Pals

“Masterfully planned and executed… It tickled my funny bone in all the right places.” – Joanne Armstrong for Ingrid Hall Reviews

Click here for details.

Click here to read more reviews.

Click here to read the first four chapters.

‘Heads You Lose’ nominated for award!

B and P Readers' Choice Award

B and P Readers’ Choice Award Nominee 2015

Heads You Lose has been shortlisted for a Readers’ Choice Award in the Humour Category at the Big Al’s Books and Pals review website. There are fourteen categories in all, and nominated books have been chosen which “stood out from the pack as exceptional examples of Indie (self-published and small press) writing”.

Anyone can vote in as many or as few categories as they want, and there are plenty of raffle prizes to be won if you do. The Grand Prize is a $75 Amazon Gift Card.

If you’d like to vote for Heads You Lose (or any of the books in the thirteen other categories), please go to http://booksandpals.blogspot.gr/2015/03/2015-readers-choice.html and follow the instructions towards the bottom of the page.

Many thanks for voting and good luck with winning a raffle prize.

 

 

‘Heads You Lose’ – Out now on Kindle!

Heads You Lose – the sequel to Lifting the Lid and the second novel in my ‘Lifting the Lid’ series – is now available as an e-book from Amazon. (Paperback edition to follow soon.)

Click here for more information about the book.

Click here to read the first four chapters.

Click here to buy Heads You Lose.

Coming soon! The sequel to ‘Lifting the Lid’

The assignment in Greece might have been the answer to Trevor and Sandra’s problems except for one thing. Someone was trying to frame them for murder… with a watermelon.

Heads You Lose FINAL

Cover design by Brian Ground from an original illustration by Penny Philcox © 2014

Heads You Lose is the second novel in my ‘Lifting the Lid’ series and will be published very soon – first as a Kindle e-book and then in other e-book formats and as a ‘proper’ paperback.

Final publication details will be announced here in the next few days, but in the meantime…

Click here for more information about the book and to read the first four chapters.

Unjust Causes and Non-Impediments – Episode Sixteen of ‘A Kilo of String’ Podcast Series

Who’s wrong to be right? What was the Great Envelope Controversy? Was this a marriage made in Milton Keynes? What’s this in my yoghourt? Is this the end?

Listen to the podcast to find the answers to these and many other important questions about life in Greece. Listen to podcast…

Cold Off the Press – Episode Fifteen of ‘A Kilo of String’ Podcast Series

Who’s been roasting chestnuts on an open fire? Who’s had their electricity cut off? Can deep-fried Mars bars be good for you? What do people do with all that olive oil?

Listen to the podcast to find the answers to these and many other important questions about life in Greece. Listen to podcast…

‘Lifting the Lid’ paperback edition

Paperback on toiletThe paperback edition of Lifting the Lid is now available from Amazon.

‘A superb adventure-comedy… Lifting the Lid will grab you and pull you along for a fun and wild ride… I can’t wait for the sequel!’ – Jennifer Reinoehl for Readers’ Favorite

‘It’s brilliant!… You’ll laugh so hard, you’ll have to make a couple trips to the restroom… The writing is fast paced, funny and downright thrilling.’ – Samantha Coville for SammytheBookworm.com

Click here to read more reviews.

Click here to read the first four chapters.

Taxing Times on Terra Firma – Episode Fourteen of ‘A Kilo of String’ Podcast Series

Anyone for a coup? Can it pay not to get married? Why is giving blood good for your holiday entitlement? Who’s not leaving on a jet plane? What exactly are they imputing?

Listen to the podcast to find the answers to these and many other important questions about life in Greece. Listen to podcast…

‘Lifting the Lid’ – Now available in all e-book formats

'Lifting the Lid'My new comedy thriller is now available in all e-book formats from most online booksellers. (See links towards the top right of this page.)

It’s also been getting some great reviews too. Here are just a few:

“A great story, expertly told.”

“Utterly enjoyable… Plenty of laugh out loud moments and enough substance to sink your teeth into.”

“Refreshingly entertaining… very funny indeed.”

“Jokes and crime – sublime.”

Read the first four chapters.

Lifting the Lid will also be published soon as a paperback.

Unlucky for Some – Episode Thirteen of ‘A Kilo of String’ Podcast Series

Why is spitting sometimes good for you? How do you get rid of unwelcome guests? How many lives does a Greek cat have? Who put something unpleasant in the Dowager Duchess’s corset?

Listen to the podcast to find the answers to these and many other important questions about life in Greece. Listen to podcast…