‘Cremains’ – A new comedy crime caper out now!

Featured

Cremains is now available as an e-book and paperback from Amazon.

Cremains cover composite

Cover artwork by Penny Philcox from an original design by Patrick Woodgate © 2019

“It’s not every day that you see some old granny crushed to death under a baby grand piano, and I’m truly grateful for that. I really am. But the even bigger shock was that this woman – a complete stranger – would be coming back to haunt me in the days to come. Not in a spooky, walking-through-walls kind of way but something a lot more real and far more dangerous.”

When sacked bank manager turned bank robber Max Dempsey (aka Simon Golightly) finds himself deep in debt to dodgy undertaker Danny Bishop, he’s prepared to do almost anything to pay it off and keep all of his fingers.

But he’s likely to lose a lot more than his fingers when he agrees to do a “little job” for Danny and unintentionally crosses psychopathic Greek gangster, Nikos Spiropoulos.

Meanwhile, Bernard Pemberton and his granddaughter Tess are on a road trip to scatter their beloved Dottie’s ashes on a Scottish hilltop, but is it really her ashes in the cremation urn or something else altogether?

Cremains is a crime caper that twists and turns its way towards a conclusion that even Max himself couldn’t have predicted.

Click here to read the opening chapters.

Click here to buy Cremains.

Podcasts

“We are all Greeks. Our laws, our literature, our religion, our arts have their root in Greece”
Percy Bysshe Shelley

If you want to know what it’s really like in Greece, have a listen to:A Kilo of String – a series of short podcasts about my – often bizarre – experiences as a Brit living in Greece with the occasional digression into total irrelevances.

I’ve also started another series of podcasts called One Thing and Another, episodes of which aren’t necessarily about Greece (although the first one is).

Follow Rob Johnson on Google+

Taxing Times on Terra Firma – Episode Fourteen of ‘A Kilo of String’ Podcast Series

Anyone for a coup? Can it pay not to get married? Why is giving blood good for your holiday entitlement? Who’s not leaving on a jet plane? What exactly are they imputing?

Listen to the podcast to find the answers to these and many other important questions about life in Greece. Listen to podcast…

Unlucky for Some – Episode Thirteen of ‘A Kilo of String’ Podcast Series

Why is spitting sometimes good for you? How do you get rid of unwelcome guests? How many lives does a Greek cat have? Who put something unpleasant in the Dowager Duchess’s corset?

Listen to the podcast to find the answers to these and many other important questions about life in Greece. Listen to podcast…

Play It Again, Samaras – Episode Twelve of ‘A Kilo of String’ Podcast Series

Who was ‘European Politician of the Year’ in 2012? Who got their sums seriously wrong? Who says Germans don’t have a sense of humour? What have you done with my leest? What’s a fiscal multiplier got to do with it?

Listen to the podcast to find the answers to these and many other important questions about life in Greece. Listen to podcast…

The Dog Ate My Microphone – Episode Nine of ‘A Kilo of String’ Podcast Series

Angela Merkel’s jacket – bad taste or deliberate provocation? Greece – still listless after all these years? Are undocumented cheese pies the real cause of Greece’s financial woes? What did Merkel really say to Samaras?

Listen to the podcast to find the answers to these and many other important questions about life in Greece. Listen to podcast…

No Greeks Please, We’re British – Episode Eight of ‘A Kilo of String’ Podcast Series

What’s Cameron got against Greek people? If ‘No’ is the answer, what was the question? Who shall not pass? What’s Holst got to do with it? How many quarks are there in a Higgs boson?

Listen to the podcast to find the answers to these and many other important questions about life in Greece. Listen to podcast…

Sinking Ships and Chicken Livers – Episode Seven of ‘A Kilo of String’ Podcast Series

Who’s over the moon and who’s sick as a parrot? Why are chicken livers useful (and not just to chickens)? Can you slap someone on live TV and get away with it? Is football a game of two Alans?

Listen to the podcast to find the answers to these and many other important questions about life in Greece. Listen to podcast…